Happy April Fools Day!
I hope you all had a wonderful Easter Sunday. It was an absolutely beautiful, warm spring day here in Denver, so after YTT, the husband and I biked to brunch with some friends, and spent the rest of the afternoon outside with babies, black dogs, bubbly and Bocce. It was glorious.
Equally glorious is waking up this morning, NOT going to work but instead sipping some green tea, blending up a Green Monster smoothie, and blogging from the couch. Say whaaaa?
No, I’m not playing hookey or taking a sick day.
In last week’s post on inversions, I mentioned that I’d be turning things upside down in my own life soon. And that it would be scary but necessary.
What I was alluding to is that I’ve decided to take a leave of absence from work for the month of April. This decision did not come lightly or without anguish. There are reasons behind this decision that I cannot and do not want to share here, but I can say this:
It has been incredibly overwhelming trying to juggle a challenging full time career, yoga teacher training and maintain my social life, sanity and happiness. I’ve been torn in two different directions between YTT and work. I haven’t been able to fully jump into my yoga training because my main obligation is to my patients.
On top of trying to juggle both worlds- professional and all things yoga, we have some life changes going on. Remember that time I went house hunting and was drooling over that dream kitchen?
Well, what I didn’t post is that we did indeed put an offer on that house and we are under contract set to close on April 10. We are so excited to be moving into our new home. We have been renting for two years and it is about time! This new home is in an area of Denver we love, across the street from a lovely park for Gus to frolick in, and it’s the perfect size and house for our family of two.
All that said, you can imagine my level of anxiety spiking when I started thinking about moving, YTT and work. How on Earth was I going to do it all while still giving the necessary and optimal care to my patients?
Finally, speaking of work….
There are times, as mental health professionals, that we need to take a breather and take care of ourselves. In my field, especially with this particular population, there is a lot of heartache and heartbreak. In the past several months, I’ve experienced both professionally.
I’d be lying if I said that there are times lately when I feel so disheartened and burnt out. I start thinking, “Are all my efforts worth it? What am I even doing this work for if all I feel is stressed out and heartbroken?”
I went into the mental health field with a desire to be a healer. And while I still have that desire, I question whether that desire is strong enough to sustain the heartache, stress, anxiety and disappointment that my job has dealt me lately.
And so I take this time off for many reason. I can focus on my last month of YTT, I can settle into and make our new home. I can practice some yoga, do some healing body work (Reiki, anyone?) and get some
therapy space and clarity so that hopefully I can hit the “reset” button on my career and return refreshed. At least that is what I hope for.
So take care of yourselves. Spring is a beautiful time to think about what’s working for you and what’s not, and make necessary choices to invest in your overall well being and happiness- even if those choices are hard. And remember that April showers bring May flowers. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.